write like mike

The 5 Types of Rejection

Writing is a lot like shadow boxing: it feels like you are in the fight of your life against an opponent only you can see. To your friends and family, you have little to show for the immense time you have spent training. Only a trail of aborted word documents and empty coffee cups lie in your wake. This is when sending work out gets you back into the ring. While you always hope for an acceptance, a rejection is something to celebrate as well, because it means that you aren’t fighting in the mirror anymore.

While better writers than myself have said bright, insightful things about the importance of rejection, I wanted to discuss something that I wish I had known when I started sending work out. It’s a secret that any experienced writer will tell you, and that is that not all rejections are created equal. When it comes to writing, some rejections are better than others. In fact, there are times when I am happy to be rejected. Through my experiences and those of my writing cohort, I’ve compiled 5 types of rejection in hopes that it helps you see how you stack up against the slush.

Rejection Type #1: No Response

You’ve spent countless hours drafting, revising, cutting, and editing—but finally, your story’s ready. You submit, maybe even fork over a few bucks, and pray that the unpaid intern who reads your story has gotten more than two hours of sleep. And then you wait. And wait. And wait.

But no answer ever comes. Did you forget to press submit? Did you give them the wrong mailing address or email? A check of the likely culprits reveals nothing unusual. The next thing to do is reread the submission guidelines—how long does a response usually take? You never want to harass an editor, but sometimes a gentle nudge is in order. Submissions can be lost. And in that case, what a great opportunity to show your graciousness in the midst of their mistake. Yet, I have noticed an alarming number of publications do not bother to send out rejections. This demonstrates to me either a lack of organization, ethics, or both. With the advent of submissions platforms like Submittable, which can send out automated rejections with the click of a button, there is really no excuse for this. While you are welcome to submit into the void, I prefer to send my words elsewhere. As I quoted Plath earlier, “I love my rejection slips. They show me I try.” Now it would appear some publications are even denying us that satisfaction.

Rejection Type #2: The Form Letter

Dear Mr. Spells-Your-Name-Wrong,

After careful consideration *blows nose*, we have decided not to include your work in the next issue of Did You Really Think We Would Publish That Crap? Much success, blah blah blah, *farts*, please don’t send us your work again even though we are obligated to encourage you to do so here.

Sincerely,

Bigshot “I Obviously Didn’t Write This” Editor

Okay, so this is the most common type of rejection: the form letter. For all you know, a computer searched your story for keywords, came up empty, and formulated this response. But at least you have something to put up on your wall, or wipe your tears with, or forward in a chain email to five of your best friends. This is the kind of rejection you come to expect after submitting, which is why the next few can be such a nice surprise.

Rejection Type #3: Personal Note From the Editor

Dear Your First Name,

Thanks so much for sending us “Witty Story with Ultimately No Ending.” While we found the story witty and very well-written, we are ultimately unable to publish it at this time. We found the ending to be less than satisfying. However, please feel free to submit again in the future.

Best,

Editor’s First Name

Ah, the cherished personal note from the editor. See how much better this is? Like breaking up in person versus via AIM (or even worse, AIM away message). The editor actually took time to critique your work (something they are not being paid to do). This is a small victory, and is definitely a sign to submit again. However, as a wise teacher once told me, don’t bombard them. Take your time, work on polishing the next piece, and then send it back. You don’t want to take advantage of their friendliness, or annoy them with sub-par stuff. I was able to finally land a list at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency on my eighth try after building some rapport with the editor along the way.

Rejection Type #4: The Long List.

This really only applies to story contests, but being longlisted means that your story is one of the top 10 or 20 out of hundreds (or thousands) of submissions. The letter may even have the word “congratulations” in it, which can throw you off that it’s still, at its heart, a rejection. However, this is a major win. Contrary to the popular idiom, if you come this close, you can have a cigar. It’s likely your story wasn’t selected for reasons beyond your control. For example, earlier this year I saw Junot Diaz speak at a Connecticut high school (this was just two months before he published an article that set the literary world on fire), and he recounted that one year while serving on the selection board of the Pulitzer, another member had just gone through a bad breakup and flat-out said, “no love stories.”

While this shows how biased the selection process is, even at the highest levels, I think it’s better to keep that bias in mind rather than put all the blame on yourself. Rather than dwell on how close you came, smile, reply with a “thank you,” and sew the acknowledgment like a little badge to the vest of your story as you send it off to the next house. I have a story that’s been longlisted twice now, but has yet to find a good home. Yet, knowing how close it’s come gives me the confidence to keep hitting “send.”

Rejection Type #5: The Rewrite

On occasion, editors will express interest in a story, but will want you to make changes before they publish it. This is typically more common with longer works like novels, but it does happen with short stories too. While this gives you a second chance to polish your work, it does not guarantee the editors will like the changes you make. I have a friend who was asked to revise a story before publication, but even after extensive revisions, the editors decided to pass. This reminds me of what Neil Gaiman has to say about feedback: “When people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.” Best thing to do in this case is keep working on it and send it out somewhere else.

I hope this helps shed some light on the different types of rejection you will encounter when submitting work for the first time, and for those who have been at it a while, I hope this provides you with some validation. Let me know about your experiences with rejection in the comments. Thanks for reading!

Write like you, not like me,

Mike

“I love my rejection slips. They show me I try.” -Sylvia Plath

George Dila Fiction Contest Results

Today I just have a quick update that my story “How We Are Changed” has been accepted for publication at Third Wednesday, a quarterly journal of literary and visual arts from Ann Arbor, Michigan. This is a story that has undergone many drafts and revisions over several years. Some of you from workshop may know this as my “crow story.” It was a finalist in Glimmer Train’s Very Short Fiction Contest and nabs Honorable Mention here in the George Dila Memorial Flash Fiction Contest, judged by writer Phillip Sterling. He said that the story caught his attention for “the anaphoric syntax and detail that brings to intense familiarity the pathos of a life lived fully” (Sterling). Anaphora, as I teach in my comp class, is the repetition of a word or phrase.

Here’s how it starts, so you can get a feel for it…

This is how we are born. This is how we looked. This is you in a blue paper cap. These are the rows of blue and pink paper caps. This is the noise of the newly made. This is the smell of St. Francis understaffed. This is the white light of the OB. This is how the doctor caught you: by the foot.

There are two pieces without which this story wouldn’t have happened, the first being Jessica Sofer’s “Beginning, End,” which looking back now is almost embarrassingly similar, and the poem, “Naming of Parts,” by Harry Reed.

If you’d like to read it in its entirety, you can support Third Wednesday by purchasing a print copy for $11 or a PDF for $5. You will need to create a Submittable account (free) if you would like to purchase online. Otherwise they do accept orders by check. Specify that you would like to purchase the “Fall Issue” after you have filled out your address.

Thanks for reading!

MJA

5 Fabulous Books on Writing

Have you ever been serenaded by the line “I love to sing!” or had a conversation with someone about talking too much? If you answered “yes” or “hell yes!” or “please make it stop” then you’re in for a real treat with this post. Today, I’m writing about writers writing about writing. One could argue that writing about writing is a perfect marriage of form and function. Often, it’s considered a rite of passage. As my friend and fellow blogger Greta Brueck eloquently said in her March essay, “what I’m attempting here is nothing new. It’s just that I have to say it. I’m still trying to earn my place in that camp.” Here, I’ve compiled my five favorite writing books to date. I hope they help you as much as they have helped me!

1. On Writing by Stephen King

Put aside what you may know about Stephen King and prepare for one of the best books on writing. It’s one-part writing lesson, one-part autobiography, and one-part writing blueprint. I never took daily word counts seriously until reading this. King suggests 2,000 words, 5-6 days a week, but for the rest of us mortals even 1,000 words a day is a game changer. I am currently in the drafting stage of a novel and set my goal at 5,000 words a week. I have about a 50% success rate. But even when I don’t hit my goal, I still have something to show for it.

King also reminds us that every writer has her own vocabulary, no matter how big or small. Dressing up your vocabulary is “like dressing a household pet in evening clothes…Never say John stopped long enough to perform an act of excretion when you mean John stopped long enough to take a shit” (King).

In other words, it’s not the size of the vocabulary, ladies; it’s how you use it.

As you can probably tell, I tend to write in pretty plain language. Of course, so did this guy, and he seemed to do all right.

2. Naming the World by Bret Anthony Johnston

This book, edited and curated by Bret Anthony Johnston, is like having a staff of creative writing teachers on speed dial. Johnston, a literary star (Corpus Christi, Remember Me Like This), has recruited his “favorite writers and teachers of writing, those whose work and guidance continue to influence [his] own fiction and whose examples have proven invaluable to [his] students over the years” (xix). Sections of the book are thoughtfully categorized by topic such as Point of View, Character, Plot, Dialogue, Details, and Revision. Johnston offers his personal take on each while using his writing network to fill in the gaps. Each “mini-lesson” includes a writing exercise, most of which don’t suck. Contributors include Joyce Carol Oates, Richard Bausch, Steve Almond, Robert Boswell, and Amy Hassinger among over forty more. As far as I know, all essays and exercises are exclusive to this book. For anyone looking to brush up on craft or inject life into their writing post MFA, this is for you.

3. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

Lamott’s witty book of essays on writing may be the perfect pick-me-up for when you have the writerly blues. She talks of rejection, and ditches basic writing instruction in favor of emotional support. I was first introduced to Lamott through her essay “Shitty First Drafts,” which has become a staple in my composition classes. Irreverent and wise, she reminds us that “All good writers write [shitty first drafts]. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts” (21). She can only think of one writer who writes “elegant first drafts…but we do not like her very much. We do not think that she has a rich inner life or that God likes her or can even stand her” (21-22). She says that “the first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place” (22). I take comfort in her reminder that “almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts” (25). You know it’s a good book when you can’t put it down long enough to write a review of it.

4. The Elements of Style by Strunk and White.

Now, did you really think we were going to get through a list on the best writing books without Strunk & White crashing the party? Though it has been referred to by some as a “horrid little compendium of unmotivated prejudices,” and “truly silly advice” (Pullum) this book still earns a place here on my list of recommendations as a good starting point. It emphasizes above all the purpose of the writer: to communicate. Every rule, dictum and decree found in this volume is meant to help clear up confusion. The reader often times is “floundering in a swamp” and it’s the writer’s job to “drain the swamp and get the reader up on dry ground, or at least throw a rope” (White). Grammatical grievances and pet peeves aside, the spirit of the book rings true.

Here’s one of my favorite passages on the importance of being clear:

“Muddiness is not merely a disturber of prose, it is also a destroyer of life, of hope: death on the highway caused by a badly worded road sign, heartbreak among lovers caused by a misplaced phrase in a well-intentioned letter, anguish of a traveler expecting to be met at a railroad station and not being met because of a slipshod telegram. Think of the tragedies that are rooted in ambiguity, and be clear! When you say something, make sure you have said it. The chances of your having said it are only fair” (White).

For those of you looking for an update with attitude, I recommend The Elements of F*cking Style: A Helpful Parody. Wildly inappropriate and, at times, offensive, this may be the first grammar book you read cover to cover. With insights such as “Symmetry is the tits,” and “Pronouns are a real bitch,” you may find that after the laughing has died down you have actually learned something.

5. Interviews from the Paris Review

Over the last 70 years, The Paris Review has conducted interviews with the world’s most prestigious authors. Now they are all available for free online. [Update 2021: These interviews are now behind a paywall, but can still be accessed for free with the use of “waybackmachine.” Simply copy in the url you want to view, click a snapshot from a few years back, and you will be immersed in more writing craft than is probably healthy for you.] Browse by decade or author name. You are sure to find something to inspire you. Not to mention, many of the interviews are with writers who are notoriously reclusive and hard to get in front of a tape/iPhone recorder. For those looking for a print edition, a selection of the interviews have also been published in a four-volume set.

BONUS ROUND

Probably the most important book you can read to improve your writing is the one you already have. It might be sitting on your nightstand, buried in your backpack, or languishing on your windowsill. Always be reading books by authors you admire. Hopefully you love to do this anyway, but for those having trouble keeping a reading schedule (and it can be difficult), remember that even just reading 15-20 minutes a day equals 5,475+ pages a year! If your average novel is 300 pages, that’s 18 books a year.

Do you have a favorite book on writing that I failed to mention in this list? Do you disagree with my picks? Let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading.

Works Cited

Brueck, Greta. “On Writing: Seek. Capsize. Repeat.” Greta Brew, Morningbrue, 4 Mar. 2017, morningbrue.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/on-writing-seek-capsize-repeat/. Accessed 19 May 2017.

Pullum, Geoffrey K. “50 Years of Stupid Grammar Advice.” The Chronicle of Higher Education, The Chronicle of Higher Education, 17 Apr. 2009, http://www.chronicle.com/article/50-Years-of-Stupid-Grammar/25497. Accessed 19 May 2017.

Pullum, Geoffrey K. “Language Log: Red Sox Win.” Language Log, Institute for Research in Cognitive Science at the University of Pennsylvania, 28 Oct. 2004, itre.cis.upenn.edu/myl/languagelog/archives/001604.html. Accessed 19 May 2017.

Johnston, Bret Anthony. Naming the World: and Other Exercises for the Creative Writer. New York, NY, Random House, 2007.

King, Stephen. On Writing: a Memoir of the Craft. New York, NY, Scribner, 2010.

Lamott, Anne. Bird by Bird Some Instructions on Writing and Life. New York, Anchor Books, 1995.

Strunk, William, and E. B. White. The Elements of Style. Essex, Pearson New International Edition, 2014.

Various Authors. “Interviews.” The Paris Review, 1950, www.theparisreview.org/interviews. Accessed 19 May 2017.

First Post, French Toast

When I ask my students how many of them read blogs, in a class of 19, maybe one or two hands go up. Sometimes none. Blogging is an old folks thing. As is Facebook–“I only use that to talk to my grandma,” is what I typically hear from eighteen-year-olds today.

In my Digital Rhetoric class, I usually assign Andrew Sullivan’s “Why I Blog.” In the essay, Sullivan outlines the pros and cons of blogging. Most are what you would call double-edged swords: the lack of an editor, the immediate and unfiltered feedback from readers, and the thrill of writing and publishing to an audience in real time. “A novelist can spend months or years before committing words to the world,” Sullivan says. “For bloggers, the deadline is always now.”

As someone who spends a lot of time writing to an audience of one, I find blogging equally exciting. My interest in blogging, combined with a growing need to house the links to my varied work, has led me to create this website, Write Like Mike.

I can’t say how often I will post, or what those posts may entail, but I do have a few goals in mind: 1) to share my writing successes and failures 2) to offer support to those writers who, like me, are trying to write between jobs and other commitments, and 3) to offer tips and resources for teachers of college writing.

Don’t be afraid to stop by and see what’s new. I am admittedly a blogging novice, so your feedback and suggestions for future posts are welcome. I know we are all busy, so I will try and make my posts short and to the point, without pointless titles or stupid jokes.

Now, I have to show my grandma how to unfollow someone on Facebook…

Mike